Keeping Unity in the Community
Best selling author and clinical psychologist, Mary Pipher writes and speaks about our culture “that has fallen apart” and our communities that “no longer exist.” “Community is an abstract idea like the wilderness,” she says. “It has become more desirable as it becomes more extinct.”
Community neighborhoods have changed in many ways over the years, but one basic fact remains the same: the ones that are strong and vibrant are places where we feel at home, where people are cared for, not just by parents or family members but by everyone. Strong neighborhoods connect us with others, and surround us with people we can count on.
So, if there is any truth to the perspective that our communities have “fallen apart”, is it possible to revive a sense of community, to reconnect children to adults and adults to children? And if so, how? On the surface you may think this is a rather complex problem…. and maybe it is. But from my perspective, I’d like to offer up a very practical way to begin. Community is people with whom you share your stories. When we stop having real people to share our stories with, we lose some of our mental and spiritual health. So let me share a true story that was told to me by a friend and trusted colleague and you be the judge of whether this simple concept might work.
A True Story: Where is God’s Perfection?
Chush is a school in Brooklyn, New York that works with children with learning disabilities. While some of the children at this school remain there for their entire school career, others are mainstreamed into conventional schools. A father of one of the students delivered a speech that will never be forgotten by those in attendance.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he cried out, “where is the perfection in my son Shaya? Everything God does is done with perfection, but my child cannot understand things as other children do. My child can’t remember facts and figures as other children do. Where is God’s perfection.”
The audience was shocked by the question, pained by the father’s anguish and stilled by the piercing query. “I believe,” the father answered, “that when God brings a child like this into the world, the perfection that he seeks is in the way people react to this child.” He then told the following story about his son Shaya:
One afternoon Shaya and his father walked past a park where some boys they knew were playing baseball. Shaya asked, “Do you think they will let me play?” Shaya’s father knew that his son was not at all athletic and that most boys would not want him on their team. But his father understood that if his son were chosen to play it would give him a comfortable sense of belonging. Shaya’s father approached one of the boys in the field and asked if Shaya could play. The boy looked around for guidance from his teammates. Getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, “we are losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him up to bat in the ninth inning.”
Shaya’s father was ecstatic as Shaya smiled broadly. Shaya was told to put on his glove and go out to play short center field. In the bottom of the eighth, Shaya’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shaya’s team scored again and now with two outs and the bases loaded with the potential winning run on base, Shaya was scheduled to be up. Would the team actually let Shaya bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shaya was given the bat.
Everyone knew that it was all but impossible because Shaya didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, let alone hit it. However, Shaya stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved a few steps to lob the ball softly so Shaya should at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came in and Shaya swung clumsily and missed. One of Shaya’s teammates came up to him and together they held the bat and faced the pitcher waiting for the next pitch.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shaya. As the pitch came in, Shaya and his teammate swung the bat and together they hit a slow ground ball to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could easily have thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shaya would have been out and that would have ended the game.
Instead, the pitcher took the ball and threw it on a high arc to right field, far beyond reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling, “Shaya, run to first. Run to first.” Never in his life had Shaya run to first. He scampered down the baseline wide-eyed and startled. By the time he reached first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman who would tag out Shaya, who was still running. But the right fielder understood what the pitcher’s intentions were, so he threw the ball high and far over the third baseman’s head.
Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second.” Shaya ran towards second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases towards home. As Shaya reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base and shouted, “Run to third.” As Shaya rounded third, the boys from both teams ran behind him screaming, “Shaya, run home.”
Shaya ran home, stepped on home plate and all 18 boys lifted him on their shoulders and made him the hero, as he had just hit a “grand slam” and won the game for his team. “That day,” said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “those 18 boys reached their level of God’s perfection.”
This article was written by a former client of Custom Development Solutions, Inc. (CDS) Robert J. Lomauro, President & CEO of the Somerset Hills YMCA in Basking Ridge, New Jersey. It appeared in the June 8, 2000 edition of the Bernardsville News, Bernardsville, New Jersey.