Be Kind, Even When They Say No

Smiling business people at a meeting in an office. Always be kind.

If the first rule of fundraising is to ask, the second is to be kind about it. An organization should develop a true conviction of its worth and the services provided to others. Fundraisers should never solicit “hat in hand.” However, they should also never presume that a prospective donor has any obligation to give.

The Relationship Between You and Your Prospective Donor

The relationship between a prospect and a fundraiser is very unique. It has elements of a business transaction—written agreements, financial appropriations, and income tax ramifications. At the same time, it has emotional and personal components that distinguish it from any other form of sales.

Trust, confidentiality, and integrity are essential ingredients to a healthy and prosperous donor relationship. No matter how carefully a fundraiser may try to mask manipulation, donors will see right through the facade to the genuine article.

Never emotionally strong arm your potential donors. Trying to force a gift will always backfire. A donor who feels they have given under mild-mannered duress will not be anxious to give again, or even be willing to meet again.

There are times when prospects just say no. Maybe they are not completely sold on the organization. Maybe they are not excited about the current project. Or maybe they must simply say no.

Solicitation should always be preceded with ample research and a clear-cut agenda. By the time a fundraiser is ready to solicit a prospect, he should already know more about that person than many of their friends. Take an interest in your prospect on a personal level. Learn about their finances and giving history, their casual interests and lifetime passions, what they have already accomplished in their lifetime, and what they still dream of achieving. A good fundraiser knows their prospect, well beyond the basic demographics.

Don’t Assume a Yes

Never forget that the donor still has the prerogative and sometimes even the responsibility to say no. The best identification will never uncover every detail and nuance of a donor’s life. Solicitors can sometimes allow the donor’s financial capacity to overshadow their true humanity.

Donors, despite significant assets, are people dealing with their own trials and tribulations — family members in need, the sickness or death of a loved one, a downturn in their business or in the stock market, a concern about their own health or issues involving their marriage, their children, their grandchildren. These and a litany of other circumstances may force donors to offer a qualified, “No.” Discretion may hinder them from sharing the details.

Learn to take no as the answer they must make at the time. Respect their decision and make the process as comfortable and pleasant as possible.

Summary

Do not hesitate to ask with conviction and with proper preparation. But always be kind in your message and tone. If a donor says, “no,” leave them remembering the organization with fondness.

Solicitation is never a waste of time. Cultivation has occurred. Stay in contact. Send publications. Chances are, if the interest is there, when circumstances take a turn, so will their answer.

CDS has been a leader in nonprofit fundraising for the past three decades. Contact us for more intensive help with your major gift fundraising, strategic planning, or in preparing for a capital campaign.


 

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