Protocol and Deference are Important to Business Success

There is pretty much a protocol to most all that we do in business as well as in our personal lives. The word protocol sometimes is not known or understood. The term is often used in official business dealing with heads of state, but protocol is simply the proper procedure for events, meetings, interactions with clients and co-workers, etc.

This “order” is necessary, not only for business, but for civilization. Protocol keeps things from becoming chaotic. Knowing what to do is important in showing respect for people and various situations. The understanding of this hierarchical order, even in our relaxed and informal corporate climate, is essential to our success.

Once you comprehend the existence and importance of protocol, it is imperative that you then understand that at the heart of protocol is deference. Deference as described by Webster’s New World Dictionary is ”out of regard or respect for, honor”. When you show deference to someone you are yielding to that person out of reverence for his or her position, role or age. It is an unspoken graciousness towards someone.

In business this could be a client, visitor, a boss, or an elderly person. A failure to acknowledge the respect someone has earned is considered rude. Corporate executives notice whom within their organization are the people who genuinely show deference. By showing someone else consideration in this way, you also show esteem for yourself.

A person who knows protocol and shows deference at the right times has an important skill. He or she has the ability to put someone else before themselves. This person is apt to be more successful because of an understanding of the chain of command and more importantly he or she abides by it.

In business people show deference by:

  • Upon entering a room you shake hands with the senior most person first.
  • Letting your boss and other senior management walk through a door first or enter a room first.
  • Allowing senior ranking executives to sit first.
  • Holding the door for guests and allow them to enter first.
  • Standing to say hello and shake someone’s hand.
  • Acknowledging someone as you pass by or as they enter the room.
  • Giving up your seat for a senior executive.
  • Making sure you say someone’s name correctly using their proper title.
  • Introducing people to your boss first.
  • Waiting for your host to start eating before you begin.

It is important to note that too much deference can be construed as insincere or flattery. Any attention to or making a big deal of this respectful submission would be considered impolite and may undermine the very basis of protocol.

Deference is not about ego, but about rightfulness. It is the protocol of correctly recognizing people who have earned respect; an appreciated recognition seldom verbalized, but silently acknowledged and remembered.


Cynthia Grosso is founder of the Charleston School of Protocol. She writes for a number of regional and national publications, including The Post and Courier and the South Carolina Business Journal. Find out more at www.charlestonschoolofprotocol.com.

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